Lockdown Thoughts, May 2020
March 16th, 2020 - The first day of the best season of my life. The last 8 or so weeks have been so blissfully amazing & the timing could not be more perfect. Becoming a mother has highlighted what's truly important in my life. Since Lu was born (since I returned to work, anyway), I've felt this depressing nagging feeling that I wasn't living the life I wanted. It's so fucked up, when the lines between "work to live" and "live to work" are blurred. I felt cheated when finally, I had something great to put my time into -- my daughter & our family's story that we write everyday -- but as a responsible bill-paying adult, my time had to be spent mostly on paying the bills. Working 40 hours week at a job that doesn't take 40 hours a week to complete. Time spent sitting on a computer, trying to look busy in order to keep my job. Time that I could have been at home, raising my daughter. I felt deep sadness week after week. The hours and t